Let Me Touch You
by Slytherin When I Lie
Summary: HarryDraco - After OotP, Harry's changed, Draco has changed...Will they fall into the sanctuary of one another's arms, or will 6 years of hatred prevent it? Read and find out.
1. What's in a Name

A/N: This is *slash* meaning male/male pairing. If you don't like it; press the back button on your browser now. It's also rated R, because it will be getting violent/graphic in later chapters. I will not tolerate flames. I own nothing except this lame attempt at a fic, everything else is all copyrighted to J.K. Rowlings, Scholastic, etc...  
  
This chapter is un-beta'ed for now, and I will be reposting it beta'ed soon. For now, here's the first chapter, enjoy. -- slytherin_when_i_lie  
  
Chatper One - What's In a Name  
  
I have to run away...  
  
That would be easier than admitting what you do to me. Everything would be so much simpler if I could only decipher what was behind those icy cobalt-silver eyes. I don't have the power to do that, and I never will. I always thought I could read people pretty well. Everyone always told me that. Hell, I was Gryffindor's Golden Boy, the Boy-Who-Lived; destined to save the world from the Dark Lord, and I couldn't even figure out what you really meant each time you sneered at me, your upper lip curled just so in disdain.   
  
I always try to read people, to know their intentions...But you were the only thing I never could figure out. I could never understand how much of your hatred you actually mean. After Sirius...I didn't really want to anymore. I thought I was over all of that. Fuck being the Boy-Who-Lived, fuck Albus Dumbledore and all his stupid lies. Fuck you, Draco Malfoy, for making me realize I still don't know what I want. I thought I wanted to be left alone.   
  
I spent my summer surrounded by the Weasley's and Hermione once the Dursley's got sick of my presence; which didn't take very long. Everyone at the Burrow was carefully avoiding talk of Sirius. Good, let them do what they want. None of them knew Sirius like I did, and it's my fault he died. Let me suffer in peace. I suffer enough just because of my last name. Or, at least; I thought that was suffering. It wasn't. Nothing compares to this. Nothing compares to wanting what I can never have. Oh, bloody well forget it. It doesn't matter, nothing matters. Forget saving Sirius, I can't even save myself.  
  
I should hate you for this, you know. Making me sit here at night in the Common Room and think about all of the things that are going on. I'm only 17, I can't save everyone, and I can't save the world. I don't want to, either. Find another damn savior. Prophesize this, you bastards. I can't stop thinking about you, and you don't even have a clue as to how I feel. Nothing I say would meet with even a smile from you. You'd just sneer in that way that's so -Malfoy- that it makes me want to grab you and kiss those icy lips; just to get you to stop sneering at me.... But I know better, you'll never do anything but sneer at me. You can't help who you are. That's why I love you....  
  
You can't help being Draco Malfoy...  
  
Just like I can't help being Harry Potter.  
  
Although sometimes I wish I was anyone but me. 


	2. Behind the Mask

My name always was a source of pride for me. Every time people heard it they paid attention. It wasn't asked for, it was given. Automatically. People took notice when I walked into a room, they knew who I was. My name gave me everything I could have ever asked for.   
  
The ministry took all of my father's possessions when he was put into Azkaban. That included Malfoy Manor.  
  
I realized I did not want anything more to do with the privalege this name bought me if it meant torturing innocent people, losing everything like I had lost everything. For a stupid cause, a stupid need to be better than everyone else. I thought at one time, that was what I wanted. I believed it.   
  
The second I heard that his foolishness had gotten my father arrested, and that everything I knew was going to be taken from me before summer's end; I wanted nothing more to do with him. Nothing more to do with this name that meant false arrogance, false pretense; and all these bloody masks for every different occasion.   
  
And I damn well would never wear the mask of a death eater. I know that was my father's ultimate dream for me. To parade me around like a carbon copy of himself to the Dark Lord. I don't want that for my life. I am Draco Malfoy, true...But that does not mean I am my father; in any way.  
  
I have been an arrogant, pissy bastard in the past.  
  
To Potter, Weasley, Granger...All of them. I don't know if they can ever forgive me for the last six years of crap I put them through.   
  
I certianly wouldn't forgive me if I were them. I have making their lives hell, being a Slytherin, and on top of it; being Draco Malfoy stacked against me. It's not looking too pretty.  
  
I just want people to notice me again...And not because I'm a Malfoy....But just because I'm Draco. slytherin or not. I want Pott--Harry to notice me. I want him to forgive me. I wish I knew how to make friends. How do you make friends with Gryffindors? It's been six years. I don't even think the Boy-Who-Lived can forgive everything I've done to him, perfect savior or not. Bloody Hell, he is perfect; too. Every girl's dream. He must have a lot of girls begging to be with him. I'm such a stupid git, he's probably not even gay. Yeah, Malfoy, keep wishing there. The boy who's going to save the wizarding world shacking up with -your- sorry arse? I don't bloody think so.  
  
I can still dream....I just wish my dream would come true. 


End file.
